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Making Love
The expression "making
love" is
overused and profoundly misunderstood
in society and even the church today.
When we think deeply about the phrase,
we find that instead of referring to
creating or building love, what is really
meant by "making love" is "making
sex."
However, to be blunt
about it, whenever two people make sex
outside the God-ordained boundaries and
guidelines of marriage, what they have
made is not love, but lies, hurts, heartaches,
and tears.
God designed and created
marriage and the family to reflect the
powerful symbolism of Christ and His
church—a
symbolism described as pure and unselfish.
From the genesis of this world's existence, God said: "It is not good
for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. . . . For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
they will become one flesh"—Genesis 2:18, 24. (NIV).
Therefore, for
the Christian, any kind of intimate sexual relationship outside the clear
and distinct bounds of marriage between
one man and one woman is strictly forbidden
by our Creator (Matthew 19:9, Galatians 5:19)! Such relationships are defective
and inspired by the father of lies.
I believe Solomon understood
this well when he wrote: "Though
one may be overpowered, two can defend
themselves. A cord of three strands is
not quickly broken"—Ecclesiastes
4:12 (NIV). This writer believes the
three strands represent a husband, a
wife, and God, who is the author of love.
No wonder we refer to it as "the
cord of love." Together, these three
are invincible where the bond of unselfish love reigns supreme.
I am continually
amazed to observe at times the lack of
basic Christian values among spouses
(and members in general) who claim to
profess the religion of Christ. Where
is the courtesy, the kindness, the gracious
spirit of preferring others above ourselves?
I declare that it is simply ridiculous
to consume large portions of the Bible
(and Spirit of Prophecy) and still display
a spirit of meanness, ill-will, and disrespect
for each other. Is it possible that one
may be so heavenly doctrinally perfect
that they are no earthly relationally
good?
The fact is, beloved
readers, that our God is a God of relationship.
Therefore, our religion or theology must
inform our conduct which includes the
basic ingredients that comprise making
love. So . . . what are they, you ask?
When
a man treats his wife with caring and
unselfish love the way Christ treats
His bride, the church, he is making or
building love. When husbands honor their
wives so husbands' prayers may not be
hindered (Ephesians 5:25), he's making
love. Watch her run errands for him or
see him doing the dishes, they're making
love. As Chris Blake puts it in his book,
Searching for a God to Love (page 96), "Look
at how the two keep confidences, support,
and smile through the troubles they go
through. They're making love. Witness
his opening up his insecurities to her.
He's making love. . . . Listen to them
discuss the meaning of life. They're
making love."
May the spirit and
passion of Christ constrain us to create
love and build love for others in the
way God designed.
Donald
G. King is president of the Atlantic Union
Conference and chairman of the Atlantic
Union College Board of Trustees.
Atlantic Union GLEANER
September 2004
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